A moment of liberation
Friday, June 26, 2015 • 12:42 AM • 0 comments
You see, I am quite an anxious person in my romantic relationship. I am super hypervigilant to every ebb and flow, to every dynamic. I see and feel everything. When it's ascending, when it's descending, when there's a pull, or a push.
It is the bane of my existence =.=
As a result of this hypervigilance and anxiety I have these somewhat irrational fears that come alive from time to time, and one of my greatest fears is that he will stop loving me and leave me for someone else who is probably more attractive, more understanding, more suited to his "taste" and has bigger boobs (HAHAHA). While I do know that I am the one girl that Roger loves very much, sometimes my mind is enshrouded by these dark thoughts and feelings i.e fears/demons.
And you wanna know what I told myself today?
If anything like that ever happens (TOUCHWOOD! PALIS PALIS JAUH JAUH), then it truly is his loss. and a gain for me.
Cause I think I am an awesome girl. Flawed, undoubtedly. But still awesome.
Finally for once today I did not succumb to my insecurities.
Instead of focusing on my weaknesses, I focused on my strengths. I was kind to myself.
It's not being cocky. It's not being arrogant. It's not being narcissistic or self-centred.
But being self-compassionate.
So yeah. I think I'm a great girl and I like all the good positive parts of myself, I wouldn't change it for the world. You can never find another Anthea in this world. I am uniquely me :)) Wouldn't ever want to swap lives with anyone else.
Successfully dodged that bullet.
And instead of feeling insecure, scared, inadequate, not good enough etc, I actually felt free and liberated.
Love yourself.
Cause you know what they say...
how can you ever love someone else, if you can't even love yourself?
Namaste.
-Anthea ❤
