Just another rant
Saturday, July 26, 2014 • 3:35 AM • 0 comments
Today was a hard day for me. There were way too many things that got on my nerve today, it is almost unbelievable. and I just wanted to explode from keeping it all inside. I am trying out this thing called 'MAINTAIN YOUR COMPOSURE AND DON'T REACT IRRATIONALLY. NO THIS DOESN'T BOTHER YOU. NO THIS DOESN'T IRRITATE YOU. NO THIS DOESN'T HURT YOUR FEELINGS". It is a tough thing to pull off and it becomes very overwhelming like you can't breathe.
PMS and being hormonal is horrible, absolutely horrendous.
I woke up today wanting to retreat and disengage from the world. I didn't want to deal with anything. I just wanted to be alone. I wanted to withdraw from all social interaction. Yes on the very day that I had things to do and a potluck to attend, which demands that I interact actively with people.....
Right now I can finally take off all my masks and vent about how I really feel. Sometimes I wish the people around me would experience for themselves the gravity or the severity of the things I feel during PMS, so that they'd at least try to be more considerate, understanding and accommodating of my situation. But that's just selfish.
I hate feeling this way. I hate being angry. I hate being sad and anxious. I hate being pessimistic, cynical and unhopeful. I don't want to be. I didn't ask for any this. I wish I can make it all go away. I am not like this when I am not hormonal. Believe me when I say I'm trying so, so, SO hard to not let this affect me or the people in my life. It's not easy and it gets overwhelming.
It is so tiring to go through this every month. I just want to cry.
-Anthea ❤
