The World by Anthea

Destined for greatness

Friday, July 20, 2012 • 1:18 AM • 3 comments

If you ask me to be completely honest about one thing, I would truthfully admit to you that I feel my life is shitty and is basically in ruins. The stars are completely unaligned and I feel that I am retrogressing.

It's bad enough if your life stagnates at a never-progressing plateau but it is so ever WORSE if it retrogresses. TRUST ME.

So that's how I felt in the past few years, it is just so bad that I developed a pre-mature quarter life crisis, and even wrote a song entitled quarter life crisis, AND also put it up on YouTube (LOL), but that is not the point. THE POINT IS, my life is not how I would idealistically want it to be.

It's all very complex, really. It involves so many factors. It is not black and white. It is not as simple as it looks or as it sounds. I would tell you everything in detail if I could, but I would have to tell you my entire life story in order for you to really get it and UNDERSTAND WHY I feel like my life is in ruins and won't JUDGE me and think that I am just being ungrateful and whiny. LOL

I have dreams, you see. dreams that I feel SO STRONGLY about that I JUST.CAN'T.IGNORE.IT. I feel IMMENSELY compelled to pursue these dreams!

But I am NOWHERE near pursuing it. I am pursuing something that I loathe and doing it just to please parents and stuck-up condescending society. (that's a whole story on it's own and it makes my blood boil)

And that is why I feel like i'm retrogressing and wasting my life away.

But even in all this wreckage of a life I currently have, there is always a voice in me silently whispering, "You, Anthea Fuilyn Peter, are destined for greatness" And I would just know it. that I will be doing big things. that I will be somebody. that one day I will be making a difference in the world.

I know, because I have made up my mind a long time ago that I would live my life for The Lord God Almighty, and I will use my gifts and talents for Him, for His glory, and I will always follow His will.

Sometimes I COMPLETELY lose sight of that spiritual perspective. From a worldly perspective, a person in my place would be fuming with so much anger as to why their life is so shitty (I am that person sometimes..oh wait scratch that, ALL THE TIME. hahahaha).

But honestly, it is hard to be spiritual when you are quite worldly at the same time...(I am currently experiencing a spiritual drought --that's another story on its own)

and sometimes I forget that really, the real reason why I decided to do what my dad wanted me to do is to practise OBEDIENCE, and I know God blesses you greatly for obedience, even if it tears your heart apart and is COMPLETELY AGAINST your own will (read Genesis 22).

So now is one of those rare moments I recall why I'm doing what I'm doing right now -- a degree in Finance and Marketing which I UTTERLY ABHOR with every gut.

But i know this will all make sense one day. I am only 22 and I cannot expect to have my entire life up ahead figured out. Right now I just have to believe that this is all part of a grandiose plan that God has in store, and has yet to unfold.

For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD,

'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you

hope and a future' - JEREMIAH 29:11

-Anthea ❤