Love vs. Career
Thursday, May 22, 2014 • 11:57 PM • 0 comments
Zoey: You're going to London, instead of back to Bluebell? Why didn't you tell me?
Joel: Look we just found out and..I didn't know how to tell you.
Z: Well..how are we gonna handle this?
J: You can come with me. You know.. come on, take a year off and just be with me! London's amazing!
Z: A year? I'm not allowed to practice medicine in Europe! You know how insane that makes me. Plus you're gonna be on set all the time, I'm gonna be all by myself.
--sigh--
J: You're right... and I know how much Bluebell means to you. But.. I don't wanna make the choice between my dream job and my dream girl.
Z: There is no choice. This is an amazing opportunity for you, I don't want you to give it up. You can't give it up.
J: I mean what does that mean? Is that another year of long distance?
Z: We've had enough trouble making it work while you were here, I mean think about a transatlantic relationship.
J: Well..yeah but.. what other choice do we have?
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Levon: What are you doing?
Zoey: Packing up Joel's stuff.
L: Ah.
Z: I miss him. But you were right. He didn't leave because we were cursed.
L: No.
Z: I mean, I-I could have gone to L.A. or to London, but I chose not to. We could be together right now. But I just couldn't. It was me.
L: Yeah, but you wouldn't have liked it. I mean, all that sun. Followed by all that fog.You belong here.
Z: What if I made the biggest mistake of my life, and let the right person just walk away forever?
L: Yeah, I think about that every day.
Z: It doesn't mean that I didn't love him.
L: No. Definitely not.
Z: Because I did. I loved him so much.
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I've been catching up with Hart of Dixie and boy oh boy... them bloody feels with these ending-season episodes. So Zoey and Joel broke up and I feel that I can really, really relate to the reason why they broke up -- it was essentially a matter of choosing between the pursuit of a successful career and the pursuit of love for one party, and a matter of choosing to stay or choosing to follow for the other. Joel pursues his career. Zoey decides to stay back. This causes tension in their relationship.
In the end, they "take a break".
And it's not that I have personally experienced such a thing that I could relate to it, but it just feels so real to me. I have thought and ruminated a lot of the love vs. career notion, and there has been a point in my life where I pondered and felt that I was truly undecided as to whether I wanted an exponentially successful and happy career, or an absolutely blissful and nourishing relationship/marriage...
...because I believe you cannot have both. That is how I perceive it to be. Because to have either one you would have to devote A LOT of time and effort and expend a lot of energy for the success of either your career or relationship.
Because when I think of an exponentially successful career, I envision true excellence that you go really, really far. like you're doing SO damn well at your career, it is completely OFF the charts, and you don't have time for anything else cause you are so damn committed and dedicated to your career and that is why it is successful as it is. All because it becomes your #1 primary focus. I honestly think this isn't possible if you want to SIMULTANEOUSLY have a happy relationship/marriage or to have a good family, cause to have a happy relationship/marriage and/or to raise good children requires the same amount energy, commitment and dedication as your "excellent career".
I mean look at Oprah. She chose career over love/kids and chose to stay unmarried. LOOK HOW DAMN SUCCESSFUL SHE IS.
So you need to choose.
My sister and I were talking about this quite a while back and she chose love over pursuing CLP (certificate in legal practice which enables you to practice in court). She told me she has no regrets and that she is happy & content about where she is in her life. Though she did honestly say that sometimes she does wonder about the could've beens and would've beens and does sometimes wish that she went after that damn CLP.
But then I pointed out to her, you know it would be the same thing if you actually choose career over love. At some point of your successful career I am very sure there will be times where you wish you chose love instead because well sometimes feelings of loneliness are inevitable.
So it is all a matter of choice, a matter of opportunity costs. It is all a matter of realizing what matters most to you, what you really, truly want and what you believe will render you the happiest. It isn't the same for everyone.
Well as for me, I honestly do lean more towards pursuing a successful career, although at the same time I do ultimately want to be happily married.
But then again I am still young. This is the 20's era, a time of tension and volatile change in every 20-something's life.
I am still growing. I'm pretty sure I won't be the entirely same person I am 10 or 15 years from now. Wants will change. Needs will change. Outlooks, perceptions and mentalities of things in life will change.
And because of this I have already decided to just leave things to God and take things one day at a time, one step at time...It's hard. And scary, not having solid control over your own life. But I truly believe that God knows what is best for you and that submitting to His will would yield the best outcome. So whatever it is, love or career... I choose His will and I choose what He knows is best for me, whether that may be a happy career or a happy marriage.
-Anthea ❤
