Dreams
Tuesday, May 7, 2013 • 11:52 PM • 0 comments
I want to leave the country, and live life abroad.
It's what I've always wanted to do, since time immemorial. I feel it, with every atom of my being, that it is something that I need to do. I resonate so deeply and immensely with the prospect of migrating. I don't know why, there is just this very strong force that is pushing me to do this.. I can't ignore it. I have to do this. I need to emigrate.
It's terrifying. It's risky. I know, that the grass may not necessarily be greener on the other side. You have to start your social network and connections from scratch. You have to find a home, find a job, all in a petrifying new environment. You have to adapt. You have to acclimatize.
You will have to leave home, and leave everything you know, and love.. behind.
But isn't that what makes it all worthwhile? Isn't that what makes it all refreshing? and that when you finally get to the pinnacle of your journey, when you finally ACHIEVED your dream of living abroad.. wouldn't you feel so damn proud of yourself?
People always ask, why do you need to go abroad, isn't Malaysia enough? Isn't KK enough? No it's not enough, and I don't know about you but I am positive that staying put in the same place for the rest of my life will leave me feeling unfulfilled, like I am not fulfilling some sort of destiny.
I don't want to be a waste-of-space small-town lifer. I wanna do bigger things, than just staying put at the place I grew up in working a dreadful 9-5 job every single day. Older people may say "oh, but that is reality. you have to accept that. don't be so naive". But don't you control your reality? Isn't the power to make yourself happy and making your life the best version it could ever be in your very hands? Aren't you the one who decides whether or not your life will be SHITTY or not? Or have you simply given up, lost your vigor to dream and achieve....and then S E T T L E in complacency, when you know you could've gone farther?
One of my greatest fears when I grow older is regretting that I didn't do the things I wanted to do JUST BECAUSE I thought it was too hard, too risky, too overwhelming.
So whatever it is that I choose to do, whatever the path that God leads me to and whatever His will is.. one thing is for sure, I do not want to be that distraught mid life crisis-inflicted 30 or 40-something adult whispering to herself with immense remorse on her desk at her miserable 9-5 job..... "I should've tried harder".
-Anthea ❤
